


Truth in Advertising

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 10:31:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/797455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dangers of mail-order male enhancement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth in Advertising

## Truth in Advertising

#### by hatshepsut

  
not mine  
This is a response to a plot bunny Night Spring sent out a while back on another list.  
masturbation, pharmaceuticals  
This story is a sequel to: 

* * *

Blair hopped into the loft, whistling to himself. Tossing his keys in the basket, he dropped the bag of groceries on the counter and twisted around. 

"Jim, man, it is Friday and--" Blair blinked. "Jim?" 

There was no Jim in sight. There were, however, about a million bowls, buckets, cups and other containers strewn about the loft. Blair looked around cautiously, hand going to the Glock Jim now insisted he carry with him. 

"Jim?" He paused a moment, listening for an intruder. 

Another moment or two and Blair moved cautiously towards one of the bowls. It was filled with a curious white liquid. Milk? He leaned over it, sniffing delicately. 

Blair froze. "Jim?" 

A crash from Blair's old room. Blair flung open the doors. "Jim, what the hell is--?" 

He stopped short. There was a very hard, very naked Jim. Jacking off. Between the desk and the sock drawer. 

"Blair," he gasped. Jim whirled around, but he didn't account for the Olmec statue on the desk. His cock connected with the earthen were-jaguar god, hard. There was a clank as the two connected, then the were-jaguar fell to the ground. Jim grimaced. 

"Jim?" Blair looked horrified. 

"I--I--" Jim pointed to a plain, brown wrapped package sitting on the bed. Blair frowned, picking it up. 

-Icrease Your Sexual Desire and Sperm volume by 500% -Longer orgasms - The longest most intense orgasms of your life -Rock hard erections - Erections like steel -Ejaculate like a porn star - Stronger ejaculation -Multiple orgasms - Cum again and again -SPUR-M is The Newest and The Safest Way of Pharmacy -100% Natural and No Side Effects - in contrast to well-known brands. -Experience three times longer orgasms  
-World Wide shipping within 24 hours 

Blair's head flew up. "Jim, is this what's doing this to you?" 

"Unhhh." Jim nodded. 

Blair. Was. Angry. 

"You know you're not supposed to take anything without running the ingredients by me!" Jim groaned in pain. "What the hell were you doing taking this crap? If the people who make it can't even check the grammar on the package, do you think they're capable of making something that won't harm you? You're a goddamned Sentinel, Jim, when will you understand that?" 

Jim groaned again. "Th'adrth 'nthpckeh." 

Blair blinked. "What?" 

"The address on the package!" 

Blair picked it up. 

James Mellison  
852 Prospecter Ave  
Cascade, WA 

"So you didn't order this?" 

"No!" 

There was a moment of silence. Blair glanced down at the package. The unopened package. 

"Shit, Jim. It had this effect on you through the package?" Jim just glared, stroking himself furvently. Another silence. 

"Umm..." Blair seemed at a loss. He thought for a moment. "Do you want me to help you with that?" 

"Nhhh." Jim glowered impatiently. 

"Uh...I'm gonna take that as a yes, big guy." Blair took a step forward. He reached down and cautiously touched Jim's organ. Jim sighed. Blair's eyes went wide. 

"Oh my god--it is like steel!" Blair frowned. "Wait--you mean this stuff actually does what it says it does?" 

Jim, however was not listening--he was pumping into Blair's hand. The Guide snapped back to reality. 

"Uh--oh yeah, let's take care of this." 

And they did. Blair stroked until Jim came, hard enough to see stars. 

"Holy shit!" His Guide was once again incredulous. "You just shot, like, a gallon straight across the room, Jim! 520%, man!" 

Jim was still floating. And then he started to get another boner. 

Jim gritted his teeth. 

"A little help, please?" he ground out. 

"Uh, yeah--oh yeah, um, you get in the shower and I'll--get rid of the--thing," Blair finished lamely. 

Jim nodded stiffly, hobbling off towards the bathroom. Blair fought a smile and set about cleaning the room. 

  * later that night *** 



"You okay, big guy?" 

Jim nodded. He was now stretched out on the couch, the shower having apparently freed him from the hold of the SPUR-M. 

Blair sat down next to him, hand on Jim's thigh. The pot on the stove simmered gently. 

The phone rang. 

"Ellison!" It was Simon. "I have reports of a mysterious medical condition afflicting people who pass through your neighborhood! You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" 

"Er..." The two exchanged a glance. "No, sir?" 

"No? This is a disease that makes people strip and jack off in the middle of the street. Any thoughts?" Simon was unmovable on this. 

"Um, Blair?" Jim whispered. "How did you...?" he trailed off, his eyes lighting on the open balcony door. 

* * *

End 

Truth in Advertising by hatshepsut: hatshepsut_triumphant@hotmail.com  
Author and story notes above.

Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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